I could use one. Really.
I start to write this blog like the 6th time already. That pretty much sums up what is going on in my head. And I always tried to write something when I was feeing good and inspired. but this time I just need to write TO feel good.
The problem is I have no idea what, or how to write.
Another problem is that I miss my friends. I miss them so badly. Everyday I tell to myself. you can do this, you can find friends also here, you can make great connections, create a wonderful life. But the truth is, days go by, and even people I thought are my friends, or are becoming to be ones, actually aren't. I will be always different. Italian will never be my native language, I will never understand completely how things work here. And that is my problem, because I really don't want to change who I am just to be someone they would like. And even if I am feeling like an outsider most of the time here, I am happy about my choice. I was brave enough to do it. And they are just chickens who can't even change a city in their own country. I know only one thing, I want to graduate as soon as I possibly can, do everything that is in my power, and to make myself proud of what I have accomplished in this time here. And then I would like to go to a place, where there is job, where they pay because you work, not because you go to work, where things happens in time and you don't have to prepare six million billion documents to get a student card. I hope The Boy will have enough courage to do that as well. But we will see. Maybe my life will turn upside down, maybe I will find a job here. But it is hard to make all these plans by myself. I know that it is important to think about "here and now". but maybe it is also a little bit useful to think about the future and what can we do to make that future better for ourselves? Oh I don't know.
I am just happy that after this hell of two months will end, I will have the best vacation I could ever imagine.
So I wish you all a nice sunny day today.
